HOW TO MAKE A NARCISSIST PANIC

By: Khalif Barkhadle,
Digital Journalist

Published On: 21st January 2025

Do you know what might make a narcissist panic? By the end of this article, you’ll discover four powerful tactics that can send a narcissist into a tailspin, flipping the script in ways they usually do to you.

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, you’re probably familiar with their tactics. They may be driving you crazy, even making you feel insane at times. But is there a way to make them panic? Absolutely.

First, let’s understand some of their most common strategies, so you can grasp what makes them tick and what makes them panic.

Common Narcissistic Tactics:

✓ Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a classic narcissistic tactic designed to make you doubt your sanity. They’ll insist, “Oh, we talked about that,” or “Don’t you remember?” or “No, that’s not how it happened,” even when you know otherwise. By constantly shifting the narrative, they aim to manipulate you and make you question your reality.

✓Lying

Narcissists are pathological liars. They’ll lie about anything, even when there’s no need. You may wonder, “Why lie about that?” But to a narcissist, manipulation is second nature. They believe they must lie to control situations, even when the truth is easily verifiable. That’s why it’s crucial to document everything—narcissists often contradict themselves and leave a trail of lies.

✓ Intimidation

Narcissists thrive on intimidation. They’ll exploit your fears, whether it’s the fear of losing your kids, your financial security, or your reputation. They know what matters most to you and will use it as leverage. Whether through threats, overt violence, or subtle manipulation, intimidation is a key weapon in their arsenal.

✓Triangulation

Triangulation involves enlisting others, or “flying monkeys,” to support their narrative. They’ll make you believe that everyone is on their side and that speaking out against them will make you look crazy. The term comes from The Wizard of Oz, where the Wicked Witch’s flying monkeys did her bidding. Narcissists do the same, rallying others to reinforce their control and make you doubt yourself.

Four Tactics to Make a Narcissist Panic:

Now that you understand their tactics, let’s turn the tables. Here are four ways to make a narcissist panic.

1. Brutal Honesty

Narcissists expect everyone to lie, just as they do. They don’t understand integrity, so when you confront them with brutal honesty, it stuns them. For instance, if a covert narcissist frequently complains of being unwell but then shows up for something they enjoy, simply state, “Oh, I’m surprised you’re here. You said you were so sick yesterday.” Delivered without sarcasm, this kind of honest observation throws them off balance.

2. Pushing Back

Narcissists don’t expect resistance, especially if you’ve previously given in to their demands. Pushing back against them—refusing to comply or questioning their actions—can make them panic. They’ll realize that the control they once had is slipping away, which unsettles them deeply.

3. Exposing Them

Nothing terrifies a narcissist more than exposure. If they believe their secrets are about to be revealed, or if you hint at exposing them, they’ll panic. For example, in a mediation, subtly suggesting that a hidden fact (like an STD or infidelity) could come to light can be a powerful way to make them anxious and more willing to compromise.

4. Losing Control

The fear of losing control is what drives most narcissistic behavior. They’re like bullies—when challenged, they often crumble. Every time you assert yourself or resist their manipulation, they’ll try to regain control through intimidation, love bombing, or rage. But if they sense that you’re no longer falling for their tactics, they’ll start to panic.

Conclusion:

Narcissists are driven by fear and insecurity. Their tactics—gaslighting, lying, intimidation, and triangulation—are all about maintaining control. But by employing brutal honesty, pushing back, exposing their secrets, and making them lose control, you can turn the tables and make them panic.
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