NARCISSISTS CAN DO THE FOLLOWING THINGS WHEN THEY LOSE CONTROL OVER YOU.

BY: Khalif Barkhadle
Digital Journalist
Published On: 12th February 2024

1. A Faux Apology.
The first thing that you’ll see when they’re losing control but they think they might still be able to get to you is possibly a faux apology. Not all narcissists do this, but a lot of them do when you’re pulling away. But the faux apology is essentially fake.
So, they might say something that sounds a little bit like an apology, but it’s not an apology. Like, ‘I’m so sorry that you’re hurting.’ That’s not an apology. Also, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way.’ It can be used as a faux apology. But the most common one that you’ll see is an apology without changing behaviour. And we know that that’s not an apology at all, because if someone was sorry for the behaviour they’re apologizing for, they wouldn’t do it again and again and again.
So, when you get one of these faux apologies from a narcissist, really what they’re saying is, ‘I’m sorry I got caught,’ or ‘I’m sorry I have consequences.’ ‘I’m sorry that I can’t get to you in quite the same way that I did before. And so, if I say that maybe I can overturn all of these consequences. Maybe I can go back to getting what I want.’ From the faux apology, and sometimes alongside an apology is a hoover.

2. The Hoover and discard.
When a narcissist is hoovering, they’re going to be on their best behaviour, and it’s going to feel a lot as it did in the…