WHY YOU’RE STUCK IN A MESSY HOME AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

By: Khalif Barkhadle,
Digital Journalist

Published On: 17th February 2025

The biggest mistake you can make is allowing clutter and mess to build up in your home. However, when you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, keeping your house clean and organized can feel overwhelming. You might wonder why it’s so hard to stay on top of things, considering you used to manage everything just fine.

The truth is, narcissistic abuse can leave deep emotional scars that affect every part of your life, including your ability to maintain a tidy home. The reasons behind the clutter are more complex than just laziness or disorganization. Today, we’ll explore how the impact of narcissistic abuse can make even the simplest tasks feel impossible and why the mess around you may reflect what’s going on inside.

1. Memory Issues
Clutter and mess can feel overwhelming when you’re dealing with the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. Memory issues are often a significant reason for this. Trauma impacts your ability to concentrate and remember simple things because your brain is stuck in survival mode, constantly scanning for threats

In his book The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk explains that trauma rewires your brain, making focus and organization much harder. This forgetfulness can lead to disorganization, where tasks pile up, leaving you too drained to tackle them. Therapist Shannon Thomas notes in Healing from…